i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
