I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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