The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
