birth control should be required to get into college
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
