My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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