Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
