i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
