I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
