who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
