Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We had to coat check the pizza.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My penis needs a shock collar
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
