I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
