Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize