Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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