Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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