i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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