I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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