its not stalking. its research.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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