I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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