oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize