I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
