Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The adults are the big ones right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
