you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
