I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
