You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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