I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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