I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
