They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
