i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
