some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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