This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize