People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
