She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
