It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
