I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
