Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
