If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
