I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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