Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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