is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
