Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
