Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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