As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and she was petting her beer can
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
