All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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