I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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