Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
