i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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