I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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