I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize