I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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