oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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