so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
