How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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