Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
