Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize