? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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