Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
