Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
