good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
