she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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