Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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