he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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