"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
