they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
