What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
