i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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