So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
