Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
