the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
